this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
