So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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