Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I love you. Go after that dick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
