She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
