I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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