wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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