I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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