are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
