no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
