Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
