You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
