My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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