you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
