Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
