I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found the puke drawer
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
