nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
