Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
