But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize