You really coming over, don't trick.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
