I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
