at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
