Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
