Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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