She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
