i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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