I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
