We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's always time for handjobs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just want nice things and good sex
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
