WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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