im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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