dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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