they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
