dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
