Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
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