i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
