Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Bring me that man meat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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