They should really pass out barf bags in church
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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