I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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