He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
