Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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