White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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