i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I want to be your penis for a week.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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