you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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