You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
