Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
