Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
