Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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