look no pants
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
