Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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