Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
