Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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