Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
