I want to stick my p in your. b.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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