I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
